There's no word more feared by sugar junkies, looking to get their next fix, than 'fruitcake'. Yes, that seasonal brick of neon-colored fruit, nuts and what one can only assume is caulk & shellac. Fruitcake can be so much more than a disappointing "dessert" brought to Christmas dinner by that one weird old relative, whom you thought had died years ago. 

This year make your own fruitcake, stuffed with high-quality dried fruits, nuts and of course spiced rum. Let's take fruitcake back and prove that this dessert can actually be packed full of flavor. 

This week's guest photographer is the talented Megan Hawley! Her work has been featured in such places, as this blog and her own website, which features a stunning array of portraits. 

Some of this rum even went into the fruitcake! 

Some people actually age their fruitcakes up to 25 years! Why? Because we all know you age three things; wine, whiskey, and baked goods. 

I now present to you the most dramatic photos of a cake ever taken. 

Dark Rum Fruitcake

  • 2 1/2 cup Dried Fruit
    • I used equal parts: Raisins, Coconut, Pineapple, Vincent Family Cranberries, and Black Mission Figs
  • 1/4 cup Candied Ginger diced
  • 3 strips of Orange Peel diced after soaking in rum
  • 2 strips of Lime Peel diced after soaking in rum
  • Dark Rum (Kraken)
  •  1 1/2 cup Flour
  • 1 teaspoon Baking Soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon Nutmeg freshly grated 
  • 1/2 teaspoon Allspice 
  • 1/4 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon Salt
  • 12 teaspoons Butter
  • 1/2 cup Dark Brown Sugar packed
  • 3 Eggs room temperature
  • 1/4 cup Molasses
  • 1/2 cup Toasted Pecans chopped 
  1. Place the dried fruit, orange and lime peels, and candied ginger In a large air-tight container. Pour enough dark rum over the fruit to cover. Let soak overnight. Occasionally shake the container to move the rum around and ensure proper coverage. 
  2. After the fruit becomes more drunk than a frat douchebag on Mom's weekend looking to get laid, preheat your oven to 350° and butter an 8x8 baking dish.
  3. Using an electric mixer cream the butter until it becomes light in color. Mix in the brown sugar. After the sugar is well incorporated add the eggs and then finally the molasses.
  4. Using a rubber spatula stir in 1/3 of the flour mixture and 1/4 cup of the rum from the fruit bowl. Continue this processes two more times until the flour mixture is gone. You can use less rum if you a more sober cake. Fold in the fruit and pecans.
  5. Bake for 1 hour. After an hour pour 1 shot of your dark rum over the cake and bake for another 15 minutes. 
  6. Take out of the oven and let cool on a rack for 20 minutes. Run a knife along the edges of the pan and remove the cake. Dust with powdered sugar and store up to 25 years. 
  7. Best enjoyed with a Hot Buttered Rum. Enjoy!

Why, yes, I am domestic as hell.