Breakfast Sushi

I'm pretty sure this post dishonors an entire country's culinary culture, but you know what? This breakfast sushi was delicious, so try making it yourself before you start leaving angry comments about how culturally insensitive this is (I'm looking at you tumblr). If reappropriating cultures and making them your own isn't why America fought in the Spanish-American War then I don't know what's what anymore. 

This nigiri style breakfast sushi was inspired by the fact that it seemed like a good idea. And like most initial ideas, it works. Even though it looks complicated, the simplistic approach is what makes it successful. Over-thinking ruins most things like dishes, relationships, and jokes about over thinking because you can't think of some third item to list.

Sushi Rice

To be honest I used Alton Brown's recipe for sushi rice. It's a good one, which can be found here.

Avocado Hollandaise Sauce

Once again I'm going to send you elsewhere to find this recipe, but it's my own recipe so I don't feel bad about doing it. Anyway the recipe can be found here.

Maple Soy Sauce

• 1/3 part Soy Sauce
• 2/3 part Maple Syrup
• Dash of Fish Sauce

1. In a bowl whisk everything together. The reason I'm using ratios is so you can create as much or as little as you need.

Breakfast Sushi

1. After your rice has cooled rinse your hands with cold water and form the rice balls with your hands. Squeeze to ensure the rice stays together. Make small egg-like shapes and plate.
2. Place a dollop of the avocado hollandaise sauce on the rice to ensure the breakfast meats stay in place. 
3. As for meats I used thick cut jowl bacon, breakfast sausage, and eggs. You can choose whatever you think would be best on them (I'm looking at you vegetarians and your ridiculous and futile attempt to create fake meat).
4. After placing the meats on the ball of rice, drizzle the sauces over the top and sprinkle some sesame seeds on them as well.

Breakfast food is the best food, and the joy of food is that you can be fun with it, so get out there and make a breakfast version of your favorite food! As always these mind-blowing photos are by Katy Weaver. Join us next week when we reheat some Eggos.

Skip's Scramble

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What have we always said is the most important thing? Breakfast.

In honor of the return of Arrested Development on the 26th and the one year anniversary of this blog we decided to make Skip's Scramble. 

Do not make the Skip's Scramble. 

The scramble is of course the standout dish of Skip's Bistro from Arrested Development, first featured in the episode, "

Out on a Limb

." This is the only dish that's epic enough to celebrate the return of Arrested Development and the one year blogiversary. You'll notice that all the dishes within the scramble are Arrested Development themed, and yes I even threw some cornballs in there. Sure, this post is a little different than previous ones, but after a year I figured take things to another level and push myself a little harder. I knew that to make it through this dish all I had to do was keep my head down and power through.

Skip's Scramble is the perfect dish to snack on while you binge watch the new season of Arrested Development on Netflix.

Skip's Scramble

• Everything on the menu

I Just Blue Myself Berry Waffles

Yields 6 square waffles

• 1 1/2 cup Flour
• 3 1/2 teaspoon Baking Powder
• 1/2 teaspoon Salt
• 1 tablespoon Sugar
• 1 1/4 cup Milk
• 1 Egg
• 3 tablespoons melted Butter
• 1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon Vanilla Flavoring
• 1/2 cup frozen Blueberries

1. Strip down to your cut-offs and paint yourself blue.
2. Okay good now you're ready to start making waffles. Preheat your waffle iron. 
3. Mix all the dry ingredients together in a bowl. Then mix in the milk, egg, cinnamon, and vanilla flavoring. Once everything is mixed together to a chunky chunky consistency add the blueberries. Stir the blueberries into the mixture and make sure the blueberries turn the batter blue or else you'll be blue (emotionally, not the color).  
4. Plop the batter into your waffle iron and cook until crisp. I would give you an exact time, but your waffle iron is probably really weird and cooks differently than mine.

Banana Stand Pancakes

Finally a breakfast item that will make your banana stand.

Yields 8 large pancakes

• 1 1/4 cup Flour
• 2 t Baking Powder
• 1/2 teaspoon Salt
• 1 tablespoon Sugar
• 1 cup Milk
• 1 Egg
• 3 tablespoons melted Butter
• 1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon Vanilla Flavoring
• 2 mushed Bananas
• 1/4 cup Nuts
• 1/2 cup Chocolate Chips

1. Promote yourself to Mr. Manager. Then mix all the dry ingredients together in a mixing bowl. Mash up the bananas in a separate bowl then use a spatula to scrape them into the mixing bowl containing the dry ingredients. Add the remaining ingredients, adding the nuts and chocolate chips last. 
2. Cook on a skillet over medium high heat until golden brown on each side. 

Cornball Cakes

Yo soy Loco por los Cornballs tortas!

Yields 10 cornballs

• 1/2 cup Cornmeal
• 1/2 cup Flour
• 1 teaspoon Baking Powder
• 1/2 teaspoon Salt
• 1/4 cup Sugar
• 1 Egg
• 1/3 cup Milk
• 1 teaspoon Olive Oil

1. Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl. Mix in the rest of the ingredients and get ready to start cornballing.
2. Heat oil in a skillet, enough to fry the cornballs. Use a large cereal spoon to scoop the batter into the pan. 

Banger in the Mouth

Oh I forgot here in the states it's called a sausage in the mouth.

• Spicy Pork Sausage

1. If you don't know how to cook sausage then you might need to reevaluate everything in your life.

Balboa Bay Bacon

The key to good bacon is to keep it fresh!

• Bacon

1. Fry in a pan over medium-high heat until crisp.

Model Home Fries

These aren't just a Homefill.

Yields 2 servings

• 3 red potatoes cubed
• 1/2 teaspoon salt 
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic salt
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika
• 3 tablespoons Olive oil

1. Preheat the oven to 400.
2. Toss the potatoes with the olive oil in a mixing bowl. Once coated with oil sprinkle the spices over the potatoes. Place on a cooking sheet and place in oven.
3. Cook for 10 minutes. Use a spatula to flip the potatoes, continue cooking until golden brown and crispy on the outside. Should be around another 10 minutes of cooking.

Fried Eggs Her? (Not Pictured)

• 2 eggs
• Salt & Pepper to taste

1. Break egg over skillet on medium-high heat.
2. Cook for about 45 seconds and then flip.
3. Cook for 30 seconds. Done.

Hot Ham Water

It's so hammy, and yet there's a smack of ham to it.

• 4 slices of ham

1. Place on skillet over medium-high heat.
2. Cook until slightly brown on each side.
3. Serve with bacon, because ham and bacon go well together.

Scrambled Eggs (Scramende Style)

If you Google this recipe, no results will be found.

• 4 Eggs
• 1/4 teaspoon Paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon Sweet Basil Flakes
• 1/4 teaspoon of Salt & Pepper
• 1/4 cup shredded Cheddar Cheese

1. Mix everything in a bowl. Pour into a small skillet and use a rubber spatula to scramble the eggs while they cook.
2. If they look done, then the eggs are probably overcooked.

Vodka on the Rocks with a Piece of Toast

• Vodka
• Ice
• 1 slice of Bread

1. Pour some vodka over ice and remember that it's only 8 am.
2. Make a piece toast.

Poisoned Muffins made by the Muffin Man

1. Just follow this recipe and add your favorite poison, might I suggest something with a bitter almond taste?
2. Place in muffin basket.

It Ain't Easy Being Egg Whites, It Ain't Easy Being Hash Browns

Breakfast food brings everyone together and patches cultural divides.

• 2 large Russet Potatoes grated
• 1/4 cup worth of grated Onion
• Salt & Pepper
• Olive Oil
• 2 Eggs yolk removed

1. Rince the potatoes. Grate the them into a mixing bowl. Squeeze out the juices over the sink. This will make the potatoes crispier once cooked. Grate the onion in with the potatoes. Mix together with the salt and pepper.
2. Pour enough oil into a pan to make a 2 cm-deep pool of oil. Heat over medium high. 
3. Place the potatoes in the pan. Cook for 5 minutes. Flip. Cook until golden brown.
4. Scramble the egg whites in a bowl with salt and pepper. Cook over medium high heat until cooked.

So there you have it, Skip's Scramble. Don't order the Skip's Scramble. We couldn't even make it halfway through it. Though if you're planning on throwing a viewing party I wouldn't dismiss the scramble. This dish pairs nicely with some GoBias Coffee.

All photos taken by the amazing 

Katy Weaver

On the next post of Cooking with B.S.-->

Brian discovers an old recipe from a cookbook from the 1900's. He discribes it to Katy and she rolls her eyes. After adding spices and other things they didn't have in the 1900's he makes "Beef Juice" taste somewhat edible. And Katy somehow makes "Beef Juice" look appetizing.

I need a favor